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5 Tips For Dealing With a “Scumbag” Slow Cooker

by Richard Delta on November 16, 2011

So you’re not pleased with your slow cooker because it fills your house with aromatic perfection but won’t have food ready for 8 more hours…

…Your left sitting there IN YOUR OWN HOUSE suffering under scumbag slow cooker’s magic spell wondering how to deal with this…well…Here’s 5 tips to deal with a scumbag slow cooker in your house:

1. Wear a gas mask. You will need the top of the line “quarantine” type of gas mask to mask the scumbag slow cooker. What a scumbag!

2. Make your dog pooh on floor of room with slow cooker to counteract smell <– scumbag slow cooker will overpower – use lots.

3. Just leave the house. Warning: scumbag slow cooker is very clever – will cook up a storm then when ready will just simmer on keep warm to make sure enough ooommffff is left to keep spell flowing through your house until you get home (go out long time). He is just relentless!

4. Go to the food store and grab all the grossest, hardest to cook food and then make Mr. Scumbag cook it all up for punishment.

5. Store slow cooker in same cupboard as kettle, microwave, toaster, bread maker and other inferior kitchen appliances for punishment. Slow cookers are a proud bunch. They despise living next to their underlings.

 

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Cady December 5, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Yeah that’s what I’m tlkaing about baby–nice work!

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